3 Tips to Cut Jargon and Gobbledygook in Business Writing
(Issue 23: October, 2009)
Rep. Bruce Braley (D-Iowa) is pushing government agencies toward concise business writing with proposed legislation that would require them to use plain language. The bill, entitled The Plain Language Act of 2009, defines plain language as language "that the intended audience can readily understand and use because it is clear, concise, well-organized."
Bloat may soon be outlawed in government documents! Refreshing.
The government website, plainlanguage.gov encourages the use of clear communications by providing before and after examples of government writing. You can see original documents and the same, more easily understood information after it was translated into plain language.
Check out the example of a Medicare Fraud Letter:
Before
Investigators at the contractor will review the facts in your case and decide the most appropriate course of action. The first step taken with most Medicare health care providers is to reeducate them about Medicare regulations and policies. If the practice continues, the contractor may conduct special audits of the providers medical records. Often, the contractor recovers overpayments to health care providers this way. If there is sufficient evidence to show that the provider is consistently violating Medicare policies, the contractor will document the violations and ask the Office of the Inspector General to prosecute the case. This can lead to expulsion from the Medicare program, civil monetary penalties, and imprisonment.
After
We will take two steps to look at this matter: We will find out if it was an error or fraud.
We will let you know the result.
Tips to Eliminate Jargon and Gobbledygook
Focus on verbs: They are the action of a sentence, and the best opportunity to enhance clarity.
Imagine watching a Bruce Willis movie that shows Bruce napping or knitting or whittling on a park bench for 90 minutes... Bored yet? So too are readers if your writing has little action or wimpy verbs.
1) You will cut at at least 25% of your bloat, if you do not smother verbs.
2) Avoid adverbs. Choose powerful verbs that connote meaning, as well as action, which don't need a second word to do their job! For instance:
- "The attendant shouted loudly."
- "The attendant shouted," is a perfect sentence. "Loudly" is inferred and unneeded.
- "The executive ran quickly into the boardroom."
- "Ran quickly" is wasteful. Pick a better verb. "The executive sprinted into the boardroom" is concise and preferable.
3) Short and Sweet: Write to express, not to impress. Recognize the power of short words.
Learn More in This: Business Writing Course
