Business Writing Etiquette: Top Three Errors

 Email Article |  Twitter |  Facebook |   LinkedIn 

(Issue 30: July, 2010) by Mary Cullen

Courtesy is small act, but it packs a mighty wallop.
                                                                ~Unknown

When talking about tone in business writing courses, clients have lately become very upset, sharing incidents of sarcasm, disrespect, and snarky tone in business communication. For the past month, I've asked clients to vote for their top three rude business writing practices that make them disconnect from a writer. The "winners" are:

1. Correcting an error in an email to a group in a way that feels smug, which embarrasses the sender.
   
   
2. Responses that are snarky and authoritarian, with a disrespectful tone.
   
   
3. The email response, "????"

I fully expected the first two items to make the list, as they are surprisingly common. I haven't seen many occurrences of the dreaded "????" email response. When I asked for confidential examples, they all moved downward in an organization, from manager to employee. None moved laterally or upward in the organization.

EXAMPLES

If time allows, notify the sender of an email that there is an error, and allow him or her to make the correction. Only if time is of the essence, or the sender refuses to make the correction, should you jump in and correct the sender publicly to the work group. Correcting an Incorrect Email explains this in more depth. Business relationships matter more than proving ourselves right.

I was a bit annoyed with the tone of a comment posted today on our blog article, Is Plural Form Blackberrys or Blackberries. The comment was simply, "Wrong," followed by a link that was not in context with the grammar question, but which did provide tangential information. If the comment had included some context, and more polite phrasing, it would have helped readers. Instead, it failed because, well, it was just so blunt and smug it was rude.

It's discourteous for a manager to reply, "???" to an email. It is very frustrating to receive an unclear email, but this response just echoes the muddled message. Worse, it adds an angry, dismissive tone.

SOLUTIONS

An Incorrect Email:

Denise, at yesterday's meeting, we agreed Dana would submit the status report during team vacations, not Shahid. Please send a correction to your "Report Submission During Vacation" message sent to the team this morning.

Thanks,
Kara

A Polite Comment, Avoiding Rude Tone:

According to this site, trademark requirements require the term "Blackberry Smartphone." This means plural use must be "Blackberry Smartphones."

Responding to an Unclear Email:

Jason,
I don't understand your question. Do you need my input on the data conflicts or your resolution? Please clarify.
Michael

Note: If you receive several unclear messages from an employee, you should discuss this and clarify expectations. This requires a conversation, not an email, for best resolution.

Business relationships matter, and writing is where we all intersect. Courtesy smooths connection, ensuring information and business flows. Let's be thoughtful and kind to each other. It's just good business, in addition to being the right thing to do.

Any other business writing discourtesies that rankle you? You can comment below...

Sign Up Here to Receive Monthly Business Writing Tips

Business Writing Etiquette Tip Goodbye Message

 Email Article |  Twitter |  Facebook |   LinkedIn 

(Issue 20: July, 2009) by Mary Cullen

It is summertime, and my deepest wish is that you are enjoying some time off, rejuvenating and relaxing. Sadly, many in this economy are encountering forced time off. This issue looks at the challenging business writing etiquette quandry of how to professionally say goodbye if you have lost your job.

It is painful to lose your job. Whether it is due to a merger, layoffs, poor sales or a personality conflict, so many emotions rage: worry, stress and resentment.


There is a hilarious layoff scene in the movie "Broadcast News:"

Business Writing Tips for Personality and Professionalism

 Email Article |  Twitter |  Facebook |   LinkedIn 

(Issue 19: June, 2009) by Mary Cullen

"Where is the line between personality and professionalism in business communication? How much of our persona should come through our documents?"

I hear this question often in classes. "Transparency" is a commonly bantered-about term, but not easily defined. And, we do want to maintain professionalism. 

Here is an actual TMI (too much information) example, sent via Instant Message as part of an internal project team discussion. (This was sent by a female senior marketing manager to her team, comprised of men and women, in the US and abroad, some of whom she knew well and some she had never met):

• It was irrelevant to the work discussion.

• "Booty" isn't an appropriate topic to chat up with business colleagues, unless they are also your very close friends, and even then shouldn't be put in writing.

• Wider audience matters, including international perception. This woman works in a very casual satellite office located in the western US, where communication norms are more relaxed than other areas. It's possible (but unlikely) that this extremely relaxed banter is acceptable within her local, small work group, but we need to keep focus on our wider audience as well. An older businessman from Asia (her boss) sent this example to me because he viewed it as extremely unprofessional.

• If you make a mistake, it's good business and good communication to apologize. (Tips to write a business apology letter.)

• If a colleague encounters a job loss, do reach out and extend your condolences. (Tips to write a condolence letter for a job loss.)

• Write to express, not to impress (Tips to eliminate jargon.)

• Let your tone exude your personality. If you are earnest, let that ring in your documents. If you are quick-witted, show this in your writing.

Business Thank You Letter After Interview

 Email Article |  Twitter |  Facebook |   LinkedIn 

(Issue 10: September, 2008) by Mary Cullen

After a lengthy search process, two candidates qualified for the final interview with two vice-presidents for a lucrative sales position with an excellent company.

After the interview, the vice-presidents were equally impressed with both candidates and unsure who to hire. Then, they received the candidate's business thank you letter via email, and one was immediately hired and the other immediately excluded. Let's look at the business thank you letter and examine what worked and what did not:

(Note: The ideal candidate would demonstrate both a proven strong sales track record AND have the personality to build sincere business relationships with established company clients. Up until these emails were received, they appeared equally qualified.)

HIRED

From: ClaudiaLastName@youremailhost.com (Neutral, professional email address)
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 10:09 PM
To: Smith, Mike
Subject: Thank you from Claudia LastName

Dear Mike:

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today. I enjoyed our remote office venue! (Nice reminder of their meeting and her flexibility. The conference room they had booked for the interview was locked so the interview occurred in an airport restaurant.)

I am proud of my 24 plus years of sales and management experience. I am a top sales performer eminently comfortable with all aspects of sales, and sales management. I am even more excited about this position after meeting with you and learning it requires diligent focus on relationship building. This is the area of sales I most enjoy and cultivate. When you speak with my references, I'm sure they'll attest to my genuine interest in learning about their businesses and our long-standing relationships. Susan Demers at Summit Team, who is on my reference list, and I worked together on a customized customer service project that is particularly similar. (This comment is great: targeted directly to the job requirement, with specific testimony to her ability, and includes a reference link).

• development of sales opportunities
• building long-term customer relationships
• high level computer literacy
• attaining results (This long bullet list is a wordy and lacks specificity. All sales professionals should possess these characteristics so it doesn't add much but unnecessary length. Better would be to pick two or three traits that best match this job and demonstrate her suitability. For example, since relationship building is so important, bullet three specific examples which demonstrate this.)

Again, thank you for the opportunity to meet with you and Matt. It would be an honor to be considered and hopefully become a part of the COMPANY NAME team to assist schools to manage the financial aspects of their education mission most efficiently. (Great close - she demonstrated she understands the company mission and where she fits in.)

Kindest Regards, (Appropriate closing salutation.)

Claudia LAST NAME
(555) 555-5555

This is a great example of matching content and tone to her readers, the two hiring vice-presidents. She engaged and convinced them because all content addressed their focus and issues, not hers. And, this writing skill earned her a great position.

NOT HIRED

From: seektheburn@youremailhost.com (If you have an unusual personal email address that reflects a personal interest, create a more neutral email account for your job search. Let's hope this address reflects an exercise enthusiast rather than a proclivity towards pyromania.)
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 3:41 PM
To: Smith, Mike
Subject: Steve LastName: Meeting (Vague subject line)

Mike, (Business salutations for more formal email communication should use a colon, following business letter format. Personal messages and very informal email business communication use a comma. Also, there should be an appropriate professional business salutation included: "Dear Mike:" is best.)

Thanks for meeting with me today. You guys make a great pair. ("You guys" is much too familiar and slang for business communication between people who have only met once, particularly in a job search. These "guys" were two company vice-presidents who had the final hiring decision.)

I definitely appreciate the gentle banter. (About what? It seems the writer is trying to make a connection, but it falls far short. How does this statement convince his readers, the hiring vice-presidents, why he will best fill in their position?)

I am excited about the possibility of coming aboard. I am confident that I can make a positive contribution to help grow the business. My experience speaks for itself. (Really? Unless the only job requirement is confidence, there is no other relevant content introduced here that demonstrates job suitability. Since this position is equally about sales and fostering relationships with clients, understanding their business needs by listening well, and problem solving, it was this paragraph that cost him the job. The vice-presidents felt he was too self-focused, and even too arrogant, for the position. They needed a highly skilled sales professional which implicitly requires competitiveness, hustle and focus, and he met that requirement. But, they also needed someone who listened to clients, and this paragraph made them think he lacked that skill. One vice-president commented, "If he can't write a thank you email without alienating us, what will he do to a client sales proposal?")

To Good Tidings! (Avoid trite, meaningless closings. How does good tidings relate to this situation?)

Steve (A job thank you message requires a closing salutation, such as "Best regards," not just a name.)

The overall tone and content of this email was fully writer focused. All business communication should be reader focused. In this case, the message needed to include content and tone that would resonate to the two vice-presidents who interviewed him. It needed to convince them he would be the best person for their particular job. Instead, it was all about him and his perspectives.

His lack of reader focus cost him a lucrative job he really wanted.

Business Writing Grammar Error: Hunt and Correct

This paragraph contains one error. Find and correct it:

On July 28, managers presented second quarter sales reports. Greg Cavalos and Daniel Stein discussed the customer service issues that caused the sales decline. Evan Dupont addressed Greg and Daniel's report, and I agree with him.
 
You will find the correction here.