Business Writing and Audience
(Issue 11: October, 2008) by Mary Cullen
Economic news this past month has been daunting world-wide. Declining revenue and job loss is echoed across all media, and it is easy to become worried and disheartened.
However, there is opportunity, also, for those businesses that sharpen skills and messages and keep focused on core values.
"Focus on the user and all else will follow."
- Google's First Point of Corporate Philosophy
In this issue, let's look at the most important quality of business writing that drives business.
A blog for a company that helps businesses incorporate social networks into their marketing efforts entitled a post, "Facebook for Those Over 40" with a tagline, "For Over the Hill Idiots."
This is best bad example I've seen lately about failing to connect with your audience.
In all business documents, the very first consideration is always: Who is my audience? What do they know, what are their biases, what are their motivations, what is their likely reaction, what are their fears? Based on this answer, content for the document is shaped.
Let's examine where this message fails:
Who would be the likely market for a consultancy that helps businesses incorporate social media into their marketing (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Delicious, etc.)?
Very likely, the typical customer is new to social networks, or they wouldn't be seeking the service. The demographic group least engaged in social networks is over 40 (although that's changing very fast). Or, they're people who have just not had reason to engage in social networks yet.
In either situation, they are not familiar with Facebook, so they are probably tentative, skeptical, and possibly even fearful. They would need guidance and reassurance and evidence that this writer can help them overcome their fears and obstacles.
This title fails because it is insulting, the tone is full of snark, and most egregious, it repels the target audience.
How could this same message engage its audience, and drive business?
1) Envision your audience. Who would be the likely client for these services? Write directly to them.
• The audience in this situation is business people unfamiliar with social networks.
2) What is this audience's knowledge and motivation?
• I want to market my business better.
• I know my business inside and out, but I don't understand social networks or how they work.
• I want to grow my business.
3) What is this audience's fear?
• I've missed the bus.
• Everyone is already using Facebook for personal use, and now businesses are incorporating this successfully to grow. I don't know how it works.
• I'm inexperienced. I'll sign on and not know how to navigate. I'll post incorrect information.
• It will be obvious I don't know what I'm doing.
• I will damage my business reputation.
• I'll embarrass myself.
What is a better title for this message to help alleviate this audience's fear and help them achieve goals?
- Facebook Provides an Opportunity to Promote Your Business, But You Don't Know Where to Begin? Five Steps to Unlock this Market for Your Business.
Much better, than:
- Facebook for Those Over 40; for Over the Hill Idiots.
Always, business writing is about shaping documents so they meet your audience's needs, not the writer's perspective.
Business to business communication is really person to person communication. Business writing needs to drive business by providing relevant information. To do this, we need to shape our words with audience empathy and perspective - to draw them in to our message. If they aren't listening, they'll never hear the content.
Business Grammar Error Hunt: Find and Correct
This one paragraph contains an error. Find and correct it:
It's time to take stock of fiscal issues. I am sorry to report travel budgets will be frozen for the remainder of this fiscal year. Energy costs have exceeded planned allocation, and the company needs to conserve it's assets.
The answer is here.
Sign Up Here to Receive Monthly Business Writing Tips